Cullen Musical
by CullenNHaleMenUJustCantGetEnuf
Summary: Title sounds stupid, but its just a working title till we can come up with something betterCullens singing everywhere Alice goes! What has the world come to! Funny, short probably 8 or 9 chapters. Please read & Review! Flames accepted! Rated T just in cas
1. Jasper

**A/N: Hey, we have another idea for a short story, that's just supposed to be funny. It actually started out with Jinx being super bored during science. **

**Disclaimer: We own nothing. Not the characters or the songs. **

**Alice's POV**

"Shot through the heart and you're to blame you give love a bad name." Jasper sang, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist and my hair gel tube in hand, dancing around our bathroom. I stood silently at the door watching my husband sing with his mixed Bon Jovi CD.

Finally I couldn't hold my laughter in any longer as he started on the chorus of Livin' on a Pray

Jasper spun around tangling his feet in the rug and falling, at which I laughed even harder.

"I'm sorry Jazz, I shouldn't be laughing are you okay?" I asked going to my collapsed, embarrassed and buck naked husband.

"I'm fine." He told me standing and putting on his boxers.

When I turned to leave he grabbed my hand, spinning me around, began dancing with me and continued singing where he had been before I interrupted him.

I smiled and sang with him enjoying the total randomness of the moment.

Fin Chapter 1

**A/N: There's a poll up so vote what song you want Bella to be singing! Okay so what did you think? Let us know! And review!! **

**Much luv**

**Flotsum & Jinx **


	2. Bella

**A/N: Okay here is our next chapter. **

Alice's POV

I was humming to my self as I was getting ready to go shopping when I heard someone singing…and it sounded like it was coming from Edwards's room.

"Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?  
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?"

Sounds like a girl, but…I never heard Bella sing…or Edward for that matter….

"Don't cha?  
Don't cha?"

I put down the skirts I was comparing and threw on my pink cashmere robe and pranced towards Edward's room.

"Don't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me?  
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me?" 

I didn't bother to knock and found Edward looking highly amused staring at his bathroom door.

"Don't cha?  
Don't cha?"

I raised an eyebrow at Edward and he just smiled and shook his head as I heard the shower turn off.

"Fight the feeling (fight the feeling)  
Leave it alone (leave it alone)"

I couldn't help but to laugh as I listened to my best friend attempt to a) sound like the Pussycat Dolls and b) sing more than one person's part.

"'Cause if it ain't love  
It just ain't enough to leave my happy home (my happy home)," Bella sang louder and I could hear muffled laughter coming from Emmett and Rosalie's room.

"Let's keep it friendly (let's keep it friendly)  
You have to play fair (you have to play fair)."

"See I don't-" Bella sang, opening the door. She stopped mid-lyric turning bright crimson seeing Edward and I trying not to laugh.

"Care. But I know she ain't gonna wanna share!" Emmett sang bursting into the room, wearing nothing but a Tarzan costume and doing dance moves from the music video, finishing the lyrics. At which Edward and I couldn't hold back anymore and burst out laughing, causing Bella to blush even harder.

I choose not to say anything, as not to humiliate her further, nor to question Emmett's outfit. I just smiled, shook my head, and went back to my room to continue getting dressed for shopping.

**A/N: Okay, a new poll is up, for what song Edward should sing. Please review!! It makes us very very happy!!! Thanks to our beta's : Truelove 4ever, ****Psychotic Female of Many Name, and HollywoodVampire. And our reviewers: **O0oJulieto0O, FutureMsAndreaCullen, Mrs. Edward Anthony Mas Cul...

**Much luv!**

**Flotsum & Jinx **


	3. Edward

**A/N: Hey all! Thanks so much for reviewing! Here is chapter three of Cullen Musical. The 'texts' are in Bold. **

**Alice POV**

Bella and I were dancing with the stars on our new Wii, or rather I was dancing and Bella was…falling with the stars when I could hear an indistinct voice coming from upstairs.

_Right now he's probably slow dancing with a bleach blond tramp,  
and she's probably getting frisky..._

I paused the game and turned to Bella. "Bella, do you hear that?"

"No? What am I suppose to be hearing?" she asked me. What a stupid question! Of course she couldn't hear that.

_Right now, he's probably buying her some fruity little drink cause she can't shoot whiskey...  
_

I listened harder and noticed it was getting louder and clearer.

Bella giggled. "Is that what you're talking about?" she asked, and pointed upstairs.

"Let's go investigate," I said while putting my hands together to form a gun, humming the mission impossible theme song, and walking stealthy up the stairs, Bella following my lead.

"Who is that?" she asked.

I whipped out a cell phone and typed on it:

**Txt instead of talking…sum1 mite hear us…Idk who it is.**

Bella nodded and took then phone from my hands.

**OK. Let's go!**

_Right now, he's probably up behind her with a pool-stick, showing her how to shoot a combo..._

**giggle I rele do hope its rose singing. **Bella typed on my cell phone.

**Xcept rose's voice is rele hi pitched. Loi. **I replied.

We continued up the stairs, and down the hall, stopping at each door, listening for the singing.

After we had ruled out my and Jazz's room and Rose and Emmett's room, I typed:

**giggles I think its coming from your fiancé's room**

Bella's eyes grew huge and quickly grabbed the cell and typed:

**Shakes head vigorously No! Edward hates county…especially Carrie Underwood. It must be Carlisle or Esme?**

I laughed out loud, then clamped my hand over my mouth, and grabbed the cell phone.

**Carlisle or Esme? Are you kidding me?! It has to be Eddy.**

As we approached Edward's room, the volume of the singing increased immensely, as if the singer was getting more into the song…sounding awful, I might add.

_And he don't know..._

_That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,_

_carved my name into his leather seats..._

_I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,_

_slashed a hole in all 4 tires..._

Bella and I could tell by now that it was indeed a male voice, Edward's to be exact.

**OEC!!!! It IS Edward!! How did you know? **Bella text-ed to me.

**laughs hysterically you forget young cricket, I know all!! Mwhahaha**

We listened more at Edward's door trying to keep in our laughs.

_Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats._

_Right now, she's probably up singing some  
white-trash version of Shania karaoke..  
Right now, she's probably saying "I'm drunk"  
and he's a thinking that he's gonna get lucky,  
Right now, he's probably dabbing on 3 dollars worth of that bathroom polo..._

I hear that Edward was not facing the door, so I quietly opened it and Bella and I snuck in.

_And he don't know..._

_That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,_

_carved my name into his leather seats,_

_I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,_

_slashed a hole in all 4 tires..._

I couldn't stand it anymore, so I burst out laughing, Bella laughing as well.

Edward, hearing us, spun around with a horrified look on his face. In the process of walking forward and spinning around, Edward's feet got tangled in a fallen blanket and he fell backward, causing Bella and I to laugh even louder.

"Bella, I think it's your turn to do the catching rather than the falling," I said between laughs causing Edward to glare at me.

"I think you're right. Edward, I thought you hated country music…" Bella finally managed to say.

"I do!" He protested.

"Sure you do Edward…" I put in sarcastically.

"I do! It's just that song plays over and over and over on the radio and it just sticks in you head! And you can't get it out!! Then to top it all off, EVERYBODY sings it! Whether it's in their head or out loud, and I just can't get it out of my head!" Edward spurted out, causing Bella and myself to laugh even harder and Edward to glare at us once again.

I finallymanaged to gain control of my laughter and left Edward and Bella alone and went to find Jazzy.

**A/N: First off, we have nothing against Carrie Underwood, in fact we love her! And second thanks to our Betas!! And our wonderful reviewers!! If you would like another chapter anytime soon though, you know what you have to do!! Review!!! **

**Much luv**

**Flotsum & Jinx **


	4. Rosalie

**Alright Rosalie is up…tell us what you think!**

**P.S. just a warning, there is the F word in this one once. Just so you know.**

**Enjoy!**

APOV

I was searching around the house, looking for Jazz, when I heard a very high pitched voice coming from the opposite end of the house.

_I'm not here for your entertainment  
You don't really want to mess with me tonight  
Just stop and take a second  
I was fine before you walked into my life  
Cause you know it's over  
Before it began  
Keep your drink just give me the money  
It's just you and your hand tonight_

'Is that Rose? I know it's not Esme,' I thought, when Jazz and Edward came up behind me.

"Yes, it's Rosalie. She sings when she gets into her cars. Come on, let's go sneak up on her," Edward whispered to me.

"Yea, let's go, we have to be quiet though," Jazz said, picking me bridal style and handing me a video camera. Rose hated when people heard her singing, and I wondered how mad she would be if the whole school saw!

_Midnight  
I'm drunk  
I don't give a fuck  
Wanna dance  
By myself  
Guess you're outta luck  
Don't touch  
Back up  
I'm not the one  
Buh bye  
Listen up it's just not happening  
You can say what you want to your boyfriends  
Just let me have my fun tonight  
Aiight_

We quietly made our way to the garage and found Emmett standing by an open door way with Rosalie shaking her booty, her head in the hood of Emmett's Jeep. Rose was wearing tight black leather short shorts, Emmett's red button down shirt, tied in a knot just under her bust line. I could tell Emmett was thoroughly enjoying the view.

This is better then I thought! I am sure she would hate us for recording this, but I just had to, so I clicked the small red button on the video camera.

"She's hot when she works on cars isn't she," Emmett whispered so Rose wouldn't hear

"God, Emmett, you're extruding tons of lust. I don't think I can handle it," Jasper whispered to Emmett.

Rosalie started the chorus again:

_I'm not here for your entertainment  
You don't really want to mess with me tonight  
Just stop and take a second  
I was fine before you walked into my life  
Cause you know it's over  
Before it began  
Keep your drink just give me the money  
It's just you and your hand tonight_

Jazz quietly slipped into the garage, me still in his arms. He walked around Rose, so I could get different angles. Once we had done our dirty work, Jazz took me to the den to upload the footage on the computer.

Once Jazz had hacked into the school web sight and put the dancing and singing Rosalie up, we quickly erased all evidence from the video camera and went up to our room.

"Is Emmett still swimming in a sea of lust?" I asked Jasper suggestively.

"Yes." Jazz smiled widely.

"Why don't I help you deal with all that lust floating around?" I said, before Jasper tackled me onto the bed behind us.

The next day at school, everyone was giving Rose weird looks; I am assuming trying to picture her in the tight shorts and belly shirt. Someone had seen it online and word spread like wild fire.

"What are you looking at?" Rose screamed at an innocent bystander after it finally got to her.

"N-n-nothing," he stuttered. Rose whipped around to look at me, Jasper and Edward.

"What did you put on the school website this time?" she asked coldly.

"What are you talking about, Rose?" I asked in my innocent voice.

"Hmph, don't tell me. I'll just go to the computer lab and find it." She left with a flip of her hair and strutted off to the computer lab.

Five minutes later my cell phone rang.

"MARY ALICE BRANDON CULLEN WHITLOCK HALE!" Rose screamed my full name from the other line. "Why did you put me singing Pink in my booty shorts on the internet? You know that I hate when people hear me singing! And where's Emmett?! He sat there and let you film it! I am soo going to get him…." Rose trailed off, and I assume went to find Emmett. An evil grin spread across my face.

"Our work here is done, gentlemen."

**A/N: Okay, we have decided we will not update again till we get at least 25 reviews total. We have 15 already so you just need 10 more. **


	5. Emmett

Alices POV

Rose and I were watching The Notebook in Jasper's and my room, it was right at the part where they "made love for days on end" when we heard singing coming from somewhere by Emmett and Roses room.

_Aw yeah!_

Cause some can talk the talk  
This girl just wants to rock  
I'm individual  
I'm not like anyone

I looked at Rose who held an evil grin on her face…one I knew oh too well. She pulled out her phone and texted me her plan in less the three seconds _must be revenge plan_… I thought to my self.

_**Ali go get the camera. Pay back time! **_I nodded and ran to Carlisle's office.

_I can be glamorous  
Just like you see in all the magazines  
I can be cool as ice  
Or anything I want to be_

When I got back to my room an entirely black outfit was waiting for me, Rose already changed into hers.

_Who said, who said I can't be Superman  
I say, I say that I know I can  
Who said, who said I won't be President  
I say, I say you ain't seen nothin' yet_  
_Oh yeah. Yeah_

Emmett sang the chorus as sneaked into their bathroom.

_Go on and make some noise  
Every girl has a choice  
To lead their own parade  
I do it my way_

Ow! 

Rose turned on the camera and pushed the, sometimes evil, little red button.

_I can be soft and sweet  
Or louder than the radio (radio)  
I can be sophisticated  
Or totally go (totally go) out of control_

Emmett's voice cracked as he tried to hit the high notes (or high notes for him), making it even harder for Rose and I not to loose control of our silent laughter.

_Who said, who said I can't be Superman  
I say, I say that I know I can  
Who said, who said I'm not electrifying  
I say, I say_

Through the dark curtain we could see an outline of Emmett dancing around in the huge shower, holding what looked like a shampoo bottle in his hand for a microphone.

_There's no holdin' back  
Stayin' right on track  
Cause you control the game  
So let them know your name_

No limitations on imagination  
Imagining

The final note Rose and I finally lost control and were on the floor laughing. Emmett stopped singing and moved towards the shower curtain, which I took as my cue to grab the camera and run unless I wanted to see something that would scar me for eternity. 

**A/N: Okay, we know its been along time but we're both really busy. But here's an update so REVIEW! please! We'll try to update sooner.**

**F&J **


	6. Carlisle

And even though I'm full of sin

APOV

I skipped to the elevator doors that would lead me closer to Carlisle's hospital office. Hopefully he wasn't with a patient; my news couldn't wait. As the elevator neared my destination my hearing picked up someone singing.

_And even though I'm full of sin  
In the end you'll let me in  
You'll let me through, there's nothin' you can do  
You need my lovin', don't you know it's true_

I wondered who would be singing so loudly…and on the long term ward floor.

_So if you please get on your knees  
There are no bills, there are no fees_

The doors slid open and I could hear the singing even more clearly.

_Baby, I know what your problem is  
the first step of the cure is a kiss_

The singing was defiantly coming from the direction of Carlisle's office. I giggled…it sounded distinctly like my adopted fathers voice.

_  
So call me (Dr. Love)  
They call me Dr. Love (calling Dr. Love)  
I am your doctor of love (calling Dr. Love), ha _

I inched his office door open and found him _on top of his desk, _singing wildly into his knee hitter thing.

_  
They call me (Dr. Love), they call me Dr. Love (calling Dr. Love)  
I've got the cure you're thinkin' of (calling Dr. Love)_

I managed to catch the last few lines of his song on video before the KISS recording and my father became quiet. I couldn't quite control my giggles and Carlisle looked down and spotted me looking unconditionally embarrassed.

"Slow day today Carlisle?" I laughed. He gave me a look that told me if I repeated anything I saw today to anyone I wouldn't be shopping for a while.

"Are you here for a reason?" He asked reminding of the reason I came. I informed of the sun that promised to shine for the next two days and that he had a "family emergency" that he would be out of town for.

Once out of the hospital I sent the video of Carlisle singing to the rest of my family. This was not something I could keep a secret.

**A/N: I know its been a while but we're busy people. So Esme's up next! Reviews are appreciated! **

**F&J **


	7. Esme

Cullen Musical

Chapter 7- Esme

Alice POV

I was in the middle of a strip tease for my husband when I was rudely interrupted by Esme; or rather images of Esme singing. I truly loathe my visions at a time like this.  
My adopted mother was in what looked like a Home Depot comparing paint chips.

_"__Cigarettes and chocolate milk  
these are just a couple of my cravings  
everything it seems I likes a little bit stronger  
A little bit thicker, a little bit harmful for me"_

She sang trying to get her voice as low as Rufus Wainwright.

"_If I should buy jellybeans  
Have to eat them all in just one sitting  
Everything it seems I likes a little bit sweeter  
A little bit fatter, a little bit harmful for me"_

She got more into the song and started to sway, causing the few humans around her to scoot away.

"_And then there's those other things  
which for several reasons we won't mention  
everything about em is a little bit stranger, a little bit harder  
A little bit deadly"_

She started to full on dance getting multiple weird looks, ending my vision.  
After hearing the song in my head it came from my lips with out my permission.

"_Cigarettes and chocolate milk these are just a couple of my cravings" _I sang as I continued with my strip tease. Jasper got a wide smile on his face.

"I like that song."

**A/N: THE END! So this ends the story and ****it's the closing of the last unfinished story for Flotsum and Jinx so we'll try to get some new ones up soon! Reviews…**

**F&J**


	8. Alice

Cullen Musical

Cullen Musical

Epilogue

Emmett POV

I was wresting Jasper when I first heard the singing. I stopped for a millisecond to listen.

_Diamonds come and Diamonds go  
There's one thing I'm sure I know  
She will last forever_

_Her past is sketchy but that's alright_

The millisecond almost cost me the match as I found myself pinned under Jasper. I flipped us and won the match. That's when he heard it too. 

_  
Just try to ruin her delight  
It's a difficult endeavor_

_She doesn't walk she's always prancing  
Only when she isn't dancing_

Is that Alice? I asked Edward in my mind; he nodded grinning. I whipped out my cell phone and sent a mass text to my family with my evil plan. Mwuhahaha

_  
You don't even know the things she can see_

_It'd be clearer if you made up your mind  
Any chance she gets she'll throw a__party  
As ostentatious as you'll ever find_

A minute later they received the text and grinned; Rosey held a finger up as a 'wait a minute' as she ran to get the video camera. When she came back down I put my hands together forming gun and led them up to her room.

_Share your woes she'll make them lighter  
The future's bright, but she is brighter  
She's not trapped in Wonderland  
It's not hard to understand_

The sound became more muffled as she traveled into her closet. I eased the door open and we slid in.

_They're more than premonitions  
I'm not waiting for news reports  
Forecasts are a last resort  
What a wonderful condition_

We filmed her twirling around in her closet in a new dress. I laughed internally because she gave us such a bad time about all randomly singing and here she was singing in her closet. The best part of the day was when Jasper and Bella sang the final two lines with her making her jump.

_When she zones out its time for you to zone in  
Because something big is going down_

The entire family joined in on the chorus for one last time.

_She doesn't walk she's always prancing  
Only when she isn't dancing_

_You don't even know the things she can see_

_It'd be clearer if you made up your mind  
Any chance she gets she'll throw a__party  
As ostentatious as you'll ever find_

_Share your woes she'll make them lighter  
The futures bright, but she is brighter_

_ She is brighter _

_ She is brighter _

We all burst out laughing at our insanity.

**A/N: WOO! Two updates in one night! Okay, so I know it was complete but we both felt it wasn't done, but now it is! So its really complete this time. This is not a joke. The last time was…haha? **


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